You're Only Human
by scotchandsoda
Summary: how far can a person go, to feel alive?


Hello there, again (for the first in an embarrassingly long time). I'm back with a one shot and a writer's block on 'Counting Time'. I know, how sad right? Well, just to let you know, I won't be updating 'Counting Time' in a little while. I know how I want it to go but I can't figure out how to write it. So I'm taking the pressure away and seeing how it comes. In the meanwhile I've had some ideas for one shots and this is one of the results. There will be more to come though! Have fun. Thanks to Katie for beta reading. (:

Disclaimer; As much as it hurts me, I only own the opening line.

**You're only human****:**

'_Crying is not a sign of weakness, crying is a sign of strength. Enough strength to show what you are and enough strength to let your mask fall.'_

She'd done it. She'd crossed the line. Ever since her near death experience she'd felt immortal. But tonight, Emily Prentiss had crossed the line.

Several weeks ago they'd caught a case straight out of hell. Woman had been the target and death had been the purpose. Death in the cruelest way, slow and painful.

And Emily had almost been killed. It would be like one of those clichéd stories on one of those fanfiction websites. Dark hair, dark eyes, those were the standards of the victims. And like in a well written thriller, Emily had been targeted.

Still getting over the fact that they hadn't protected her enough, getting over a near heart attack, the team had put everything together to get Emily back. They'd busted in right before their UnSub was about to start his process, right before Emily's 'slow and painful' death, right in time.

She'd gone back to work to early. Her wounds had been healed but her mind hadn't. It was _'Green__a__way'_ all over again.

Only Emily hadn't gone off killing an unsub, she became hungry for adrenaline. The calm and rational ambassador's daughter had changed drastically, and it affected the whole team.

Today however she'd gone too far. He'd watched how she rushed right into the line of fire. She'd worn a vest, but still. They'd saved the boy, but still you don't go and walk into a dangerous position in the middle of a shooting. Granted, he himself had done it once or twice. He'd walked into a line of fire with neither a vest nor back up. But that didn't mean she could go off and do it. He'd had his reasons but she, she just needed to feel alive.

And Aaron Hotchner was going to do something about it. He knew she only did this to deal with her past. That she only did it to make sure she was still alive.

And that's the reason why he found himself, at eleven thirty PM on a Saturday night, standing in front of Emily's door, hoping that she didn't go out to do something careless.

Roughly a minute after he'd rang the bell he heard light footsteps on the other side of the door, and when she opened it he felt relieved to see she hadn't gone out.

"Hotch?" He saw the surprise in her eyes, which he'd expected considering he hadn't been at her apartment that often.

"Emily" he smiled a little at her messy hair. Her raven hair that she had spent so much time straightening, had gotten little curls between strands. "Can I come in?"

Her face looked weary when she let him in and he already felt guilty for showing up at this hour. "Do you want something to drink?"

'_Always polite'_ he thought as he nodded. _'Politically polite'__._He chose water.

As he saw her getting the drinks he wandered towards her couch.

"Why are you here, Hotch?" He thought she would've known, and he thought she probably did. She wasn't a profiler for nothing.

"I think you know" he said.

She sighed as she sat down beside him, leaning against the armrest to face him. "Maybe, but why don't you start."

It wasn't going to be this easy; he had to make her understand that what she did affected the whole team. "Are you an idiot, Emily?" he said calmly. He saw how her mouth opened and closed again.

"I'm sorry?"

"Are you an idiot?" he repeated in that same calm manner. "Because you've been doing some pretty idiotic stunts."

"I don't know what you're talking about." He saw how her defenses rose, how she prepared herself to set up a hell of a fight.

"Yes, yes you do. Emily, have you even noticed how you've changed?" He took a breath, ready to fight back her defenses. "You used to be the one who kept us a family, you were the big sister. And now you've turned into the uncle who does everything that he's not supposed to do, just for the kick of it. Haven't you noticed?"

He watched how her defenses faltered but kept steady, trying to find a way to go against what Hotch was saying. But there wasn't any, there was no way to turn to except for the one he had laid down. "Emily" he whispered. "I know you need to feel alive, I've been there" he touched her arm, trying to get through to her. "But this isn't the way."

He waited till she met his eyes, waited till she would see it. "You're only human, Emily."

He saw how tears started to take form in her eyes, threatening to spill down. She had no defense left, she could only surrender and accept. "Talk to me."

He heard her take a deep breath. "All those woman died" she stated, her mind going back to the case that changed her. "They all died and I lived."

He saw the guilt in her eyes. "It's not your fault."

"I know." She looked at his hand that was still covering her arm. "But that doesn't change the fact that I should've been dead." The first tear had already left her eye and was on its way down her cheek.

"Don't go there, don't blame yourself. It won't get you anywhere." God, how could this woman even think someone blamed her? In the years he'd already had the pleasure working with her, there was one thing that stood out. She could never hurt an innocent life. Maybe years ago, maybe when she'd been fifteen. But that was different, that was surviving, a need all human beings had grown deep inside.

Tears had started running freely now and he cradled her against his chest, softly stroking the back of her head. "You're not to blame in this, Emily. You're human, and you're still alive." He waited until she'd calmed down reasonably.

"Are you going to stop the careless stunts now? Before I die from a heart attack?"

She gave him a watery chuckle. Her defenses were back up again, but it didn't mattered. He'd gotten through to her. "That depends."

He was relieved to see her smile again. "On what?"

"On your offer."

He smiled. A smile that showed his entirely adorable dimples. _'This should be interesting...'_

**Finis.**

Any thoughts? A sequel? As in a second one shot sequel and not a second chapter sequel, you know?! ;]

Katie here! I personally loved it, but I may be a bit biased due to me being her beta, but it's still awesome! Anyway, I'm surprised how good your grammar is! Especially with English not being your first language! It's better than some people I know!


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